"Boy, that guy St. Cloud, sure got his bell rung." says Bob. "Hope he's all right. I didn't see him in the second half."
"Looked like he really got hurt," says Ted. "Both going for a fumble like that. Guy could have a broken neck. But that's the chance you take when you play football."
"League's trying to make it safer. You can't Horse Collar a guy anymore. And Spearing. That's supposed to be illegal too, but how can you really rule that out. I've heard some of the players are suing."
"Come on," says Ted. "That's what they signed up for That's how the game is played. That's the NFL."
As they walk toward Bob's car, a man in orange alligator boots, and an orange feather in his hatband, draws near.
"The game is over, gentlemen, but the night's not." he says.
Ted and Bob turn and look at the man.
"Are you game?" says the man.
"What exactly are you saying?" says Bob.
"You don't have to be alone for the rest of the evening. They're waiting for you."
Bob and Ted, stare at each other,
"Am I too vague? Here," he says. He hands them a scrap of paper. "Call these two ladies. They'll explain." He moves away. "You have fifteen minutes. Or you'll miss out." He vanishes into the crowd.
Bob and Ted confer. Then make the call.
"Hello?" says Bob. "We got your number from a man with orange alligator bo..."
"No need to explain. I'm Carol. I have a friend, Alice. Would you like companions for dinner?"
"Yes, but, we're low on cash. Do you take credit cards?"
"Debit. Credit." Her voice is higher. "As long as the card is good. We're easy."
"I think we already established that."
"Oh, funny guy. If I had a nickel...Okay, meet us at Bullwinkle's Saloon. It's near the stadium, and we'll talk. How's that sound?"
"What about the man with the orange alligator boots?"
"Who?"
"I understand. Okay, but how will we know it's you?"
"Oh, you'll find us. You haven't done this much before, have you. Don't worry. Bullwinkles, half hour."
Bob and Ted find Bullwinkles, enter, and see two ladies sitting together. They hold empty Champagne glasses.
The Curly Blond stands and waits. Bob and Ted slide into the booth.
The other has Short Brown hair. Both have large Blue Eyes.
"Don't be nervous ladies, we've been on blind dates before." says Bob. He breathes deeply.
Ted smiles.
"So have we," says Carol, the Curly Blond. "Told you he was funny." She hugs his arm. "Viking tickets are so expensive, it is hard for us to find nice dinner companions."
"What do you do when the Vikings are on the road? Place is empty?" asks Ted.
"Well, Carol and Alice, LLC, will have to work soccer games, I guess." They look at each other.
"We have other jobs."
"Alice is a legal assistant," says Carol. "And I'm working on her Masters in Econ."
Then Alice says, "Might not even be any football, fifteen, twenty years from now."
"What do you mean, no football." says Bob. Carol still hugs Bob's arm.
"There are something like 21 lawsuits against the NFL right now, more than 300 players suing.
Guys like Jim McMahon, Tony Dorsett, Ottis Anderson.
Bob blinks.
"I read the Tweets at work? Skinnim, Screwem, and Howe, Law offices? I work there."
Dinner is served, along with a second bottle of champagne, a bottle of Heidsleck 1907.
"More champagne? Why not," says Ted. "It's not every night you can dine with such interesting ladies."
"We're not pretty?" asks Alice. She looks up at Ted. Those large Blue Eyes.
"Yeah, that too." say Ted. "That's what I meant." He breathes deeply.
"I'm Kidding. Don't be so nervous," says Alice. She puts her head on his shoulder. "As I was saying."
"It's all the concussion in college football, almost 100,000 a year. And all the law suits. Soon insurance companies won't insure school athletic programs anymore, leaving schools no option, but to cut out football.
"When I'm a mom," says Carol." My son will be playing soccer, or running the mile, or something, if I have any say. Or golf, that might be fun. Only a few can play basketball. Boxing and Ice hockey used to be the major sports once, so there is nothing sacred about football."
Full Metal Jousting," says Ted. "Talk about collisions. It's a concussion or dislocated shoulder on every charge."
"From discussions in class," says Carol, "NFL will be around fifteen, maybe twenty years max. It'll only be played in Texas, and maybe Oklahoma. A single injury is life threatening."
"Law suits against the NFL boils down to the NFL not doing enough to stop the injuries, and those doctors on the sidelines? They're hand picked. They're told to keep the players playing.
"NFL claims they didn't know how bad the problem was. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't."
They finish dinner, and champagne. Bob and Ted sit and gaze at their empty plates.
"What?" says Carol. "Guys, you're come over for coffee, right? We're just around the corner."
She kisses Bob on the cheek and both ladies push quickly out of the booth. They giggle as they ramble out the door.
Six minutes later they are in a large third floor, two bedroom apartment.
"Make yourselves at home, I'll get the coffee." She comes back with four glasses and a bottle of Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac. "Something I picked up at the drug store. You like Cognac?"
Ted sees an Economics Textbook on the table, along with a ream of legal paper. They told the truth. He is very relieved.
"I think you're right about those injuries," said Bob. "I wouldn't want my son to get hurt like that. But every kid plays football."
"Everybody used to smoke too, but that's changing."
"Alabama and LSU are known for football, not so much for academics. Now they will have to compete in the classroom. That can't be bad." says Alice.
"And here," she says. "So you'll be relaxed." She wedges a chair under the door knob. "Now nobody can come in. You're safe."
"So," says Carol." I'll need your credit card. We're good on what we decided? Alice and I have discussed the matter, and well, we think you guys are all right. 'Course after Alice checks your credit card."
"We're good," says Bob. "This will be another grampa story I can tell my grand kids over breakfast some day."
"I don't know why, but I like you Bob," says Carol. She laughs. "Okay, then let's get you a story that can't be topped."
"Yep, that's what Ted and I had in mind."
Carol pulls Bob into the bedroom. Under the covers, "You're naked." says Bob.
"That's kinda the idea," she says. "You're such a funny guy." She yells, "Alice, I like this guy, He's still making jokes. I like you, you know."
Bacon sizzles on the stove.
I made you two breakfast," says Alice. "Least we could do. We've decided we want you two to come back."
When football dries up," says Carol. "We might have to scout tennis tournaments, or maybe move over by the marina. Guys there have money, but they're just so snooty. It'll be a hassle, but..."
"We don't like to put a whole lot in writing, but keep our number. Whenever you need, you know, dinner companions. We'll take sports some more."
They all hug and say nice things. Then Bob and Ted leave.
They turn back to see Carol and Alice wave out their front window. One is Curly Blond, and the other has short Brown Hair. Both have Big Blue Eyes.
As they walk to Bobs car, they talk about coming back. Bob looks at his credit card, takes a deep breath, then puts it back in his wallet. Why not? They decided to come back soon.
------------
Help comes from:
Grantland.com
(CNN) -- A nasty collision during a...
What Would the End of Football Look Like?
An economic perspective on CTE and the concussion crisis
By Tyler Cowen and Kevin Grier on February 9, 2012
Google, Google Maps, Wikipedia.(Vikings),
StiffLeftJab.com (Is Lou the Luckiest Man on the Face of the Earth?)
ESPN.GO.com/nfl story (Hiding concussions...).
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