Tuesday, February 7, 2012

BIRDS FLIP AT THE SUPER BOWL

Man in a Brooks Brothers suit calls from the baggage area. He holds a briefcase.

"Fresh Air Taxi."  He waves.  "Beverly Hills.  I have a meeting in ten minutes. You get me there?"

"Beverly Hills?  At this time in the morning?  You are going to be needing a time machine, pal."

"Just kidding, my friend.  I got an hour or so."

Lady stands in a Silk Blouse, tight jeans, and red Converse.  "Hey, small world.  I'm going to the same place."  She moves toward another taxi.

"Hey, ride with me.  We'll share."

She stops, smiles, and says.  "Doing our part to save gas?"  Then walks back.  "Why not? You have an honest face.  Every penny counts."

"That's the spirit."  He opens the door for her, while I put her bag in the trunk.

A lady with a Diamond Broach, bluish hair and black nurse shoes, stands by the curb.
She looks to her right, then left, then back right. 

Brooks Brothers says, "You look lost. Going anywhere near Beverly Hills, ride with us."

She blinks and says, "My chauffeur was supposed to be here. Claims he ran out of gas." 

She has no luggage, just a purse. "No telling when he'll arrive."

"You got shotgun. That okay?" he says. 

She looks at Silk Blouse in the back seat, then at Brooks Brothers, and nods. "Thanks. I can ride shotgun. I'll save money."  She looks right and then left again. "Fine." 

She climbs in the passenger side and sits.  She hugs her purse, and leans toward the window.

"Do not be at all nervous. I drive quite well," I say to her, to allay any fear. 

"I'm sure you do,"  she says.  She leans forward and reads my registration card, " Mr. Palermo Sicily,  I'm sure you do."  

I deftly negotiate the aggressive buses, cars, and accidental tourists, head out of LAX , onto La Cienega Blvd. 

I glance at Mr. Brooks Brothers in the rear view mirror. "Did you have the Giants, in the game?"

"Had the Patriots, but my money was already made. I increased my stock portfolio just prior to the Game."

Brooks Brothers looks at Silver Blouse.  "That's what I do. Corporate stock. I bought shares of Comcast, parent of NBC.  $250 million from Super Bowl commercials in one day, helps their bottom line.  Thirty second ad cost $3 and a half million."

"But, you know, the big buzz was the half time show." says Silver Blouse. "M.I.A. flipping the bird at everybody.  How uncool.

"She did it quickly to make sure it wasn't edited out  And when she said don't give me any shit, well, I hardly heard it."

"If she wanted to cause a controversy," says Brooks Brothers. "She did.  Puts her on the map. She's a more valuable commodity now."

Silver Blouse nods.  "Madonna knew the risk when she allowed her on stage. M.I.A.'s been freaky in the past.  I'm hearing more about the Half Time Show,  than about the Game."

Miss Broach turns in her seat and says, "We had the world's full attention, so we throw at them fireworks, dancers, lip-synchers and smoke.  It was certainly no Olympics Opening Ceremony, where hope and union between nations was the message. To get kids to watch, NBC hires a dubious Gangsta type to shock everybody."

I missed most of all that," says Brooks Brothers. "Did you know, this was the first year the Super Bowl was streamed live to mobile phones?  Bought some stock in Verizon.  They had the exclusive Super Bowl rights with the NFL.  Extra $10 to down load the app.  So buying a few shares made sense.  How could I lose?"

Silver Blouse nods at Brooks Brothers. "I'm a clothes designer, so I couldn't miss it.  In the past Half Time Shows have been rather drab.  But I think Madonna did well.  She was flashy, looked very professional, and wasn't afraid to get people up there that kids listen to.  She's 53, come on."

I say, "I think the key was the New York's strong defensive line, keeping Brady..."

"It was outrageous," says Miss Broach.  "We turn away from addressing real life problems here in America.  Instead they tell us, eat your Doritos, and watch this very expensive aging once super star, and be real shocked when some rapper flips us all the bird."

"That's a bit harsh, I think"  says the Silver Blouse. "Madonna's the only woman in the world who can look so regal, and not too ridiculous, clad like a Viking, while performing  off-balance one-legged yoga poses. She's still go it.  Come on, it's a Half Time Show, not the State of the Union."

"But ," says Brooks Brothers.  "What happens during half time? Guys are in the kitchen getting more beer.  My guys tell me almost 50 million cases of beer were sold, because of the game.  How could you not see that coming. I bought more shares in Budweiser, and Molson-Coors."

"You must have a very large portfolio?" says Silver Blouse, smiling up at him.

"You'd be surprised."  He looks down at Silver Blouse's tight jeans. "It gets a lot bigger around Super Bowl time. Doesn't take a rocket surgeon to make money.  I get excited when my portfolio grows."

Silver Blouse cocks her head, and rubs her knees.

I say, "There were some passes dropped by New England that could have..."

Miss Broach says, "Whole affair was a blasphemy."

"I think you mean an obscenity," says Brooks Brothers. "There's a difference.  You might even think it was profane, but that too is a little different.  Blasphemous is showing contempt for God, and while similar, profanity is a show of contempt.  I think you mean it was obscene." 

"What is obscene," says Miss Broach. "Is the money spent on the damn thing.  At least they hired the Indianapolis Children's Choir.  Those kids had some fun and a night out.  But what about the almost 30 percent of children in Indianapolis who live below the national poverty line."

Silver Blouse looks out the window.  "I was really young, but for me Madonna opened the door for me, talking about things that you wouldn't ever read in Cosmopolitan.  A young lady's sexuality was something no one wanted to really talk about.  Madonna was there for a lot of us."

Brooks Brother nudges Silver Blouse's thigh.  "Calavo, large avocado co-op. You know how much guacamole was eaten during the Super Bowl?"

"And you bought guacamole?" 

"You got it,  That's what I do. My portfolio is growing as we speak.  Matter of fact it's gotten bigger since I've been here in this cab."  He raises his eyebrows.  "That's a fact."

Miss Broach shakes her head.  "How many textbooks, teacher's salaries, art supplies can be bought with what was spent on 15 minutes of very questionable entertainment?  I've heard better karaoke."

I turn off George Burns Road, onto Gracie Allen Drive, and stop next to the Emergency.

Cedars Sinai." I say. 

Brooks Brothers says, "Well, this is my stop.  Hey, what are you doing later. Have lunch with me?" 

Silk Blouse, leans back in the seat.

"You have to eat,"  he says. "Come on, You'll be finished by noon."

"You're right. Okay, meet me in front of Macy's at noon.  And no food court.  Some place nice."

"Brooks Brothers gets out, then turns back.  "By the way, what's your name?"

"You show up, I'll tell you." says Silver Blouse.

He waves and walks toward sliding doors.

I drop Silver Blouse at the the Beverly Center.  We figure a third, she pays, I get her bag, and watch her stride away, spring in her red Converse.

I slide back behind the wheel. "How did I do, ma'am?" I say,

"Well, young man." says Miss Broach.  "My chauffeur has been a pain lately, missing connections, running out of gas, gum wrappers on the seat. You could pick me up at the airport?"

"Being CEO of Fresh Air Taxi, say the word. One of my taxi's will pick you up." 

"I'm in and out of L.A. all the time. I own a Jewelry store on Rodeo Drive.  I cater to rich people, but I don't have to like them. Most had rich parents, never had to fight for a dollar.  I don't need the money, anymore. I give most of it to needy people I meet."

I drop her off in the middle of Beverly Hills. She takes my card.  I wave.  She waves back.

And I sit there for a minute.

Wow.  Win $100 on the Super Bowl, learn how to create a large portfolio, and meet a lady that owns a Beverly Hills jewelry store.  All in one day.

Nice.

--------

*Help comes from:

Google, Wikipedia,
rt.com (Feb 6),
MTV.com/Madonna,
www.Superbowl.com/
Winnipegfree Press,
Belfast Telegraph

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