"Coming up, What's going on in Orlando with the Magic? After Stan Van Gundy gets the axe, will ownership further trash the team, by dealing Dwight Howard? To the Nets, or the Clippers or to the Lakers. What about Pau Gasol? Still a Lakers?"Will Lebron have another ringless season? And the Kings, will they kiss the Stanley Cup? We'll talk about all this. But first, Brentood Belair, West Coast Sports Writer, he'll be with us. We'll hear what's on his mind. Be right back. Roswell Hobbs, Sports in the Afternoon. KLUK Radio, AM 1600."
"...Home owners, even if you've re-financed your home within the last two weeks, Vito Corleone Financial, we got your best interest in mind. Okay, maybe there is a small closing fee, inspection fee, appraisal fee, prep fee, document fee, transfer fee, registration fee. But come on in. Guarantee, we'll make you an offer you can't refuse. Really..."
"We're back. . .And you can find us on Facebook, and Twitter. Or call in, we'll talk, Roswell Hobbs, KLUK Radio, Sports in the Afternoon. So, we have Brentwood Belair on the line. No introduction necessary. Brentwood, what's up in your world of sports?"
"Thanks Roswell. But call me Woody."
"So, Woody," says Roswell." What's on your sports mind this afternoon?"
"Well," I say. "My column today in the Valley Post Picayune, 'Will Clemens Weasel Out of Trouble?'"
"Roger Clemens? I almost forgot about him."
"Everybody's riveted on the Pacers, Thunder, the Heat, and the Stanley Cup. But there's something else that's very important going on. It's hidden back on page six."
"Your right. I haven't been keeping up with his perjury trial."
"Let me refresh everybody," I say. "Roger Clemens, future HOF pitcher, maybe, is charged with lying to Congress when he testified in 2008 that he never used steroids or HGH. That's human growth hormone. Brian McNamee, Clemens' longtime strength coach, says he injected Clemens with steroids in 1998, 2000 and 2001 and with HGH in 2000. He is the only one who'll testify Clemens used this stuff."
"Clemens did say though," says Roswell. "He took something, but it wasn't illegal."
"But there's more," I say. "There was a pool party, hosted by Jose Canseco, where Roger took some kind of drug. He denies being there, but the prosecution has a picture of him standing in shallow end of the pool. He claims he was out golfing at that time.
"Prosecutors also have the Miller Lite can with the used steroid syringe in it. Bottom of the can had the correct date code for the time of the party. But alas, no fingerprints."
"Comes down to which one the jury believes, McNamee or Clemens.
"So," I say. "That's the background for my column. It's in the Valley Post Picayune, this morning. Check it out." I laugh. "Is that too much of a plug for my column?"
"We got links on the website, so we'll get people to read your stuff, Woody."
"Fair enough." I say. "Okay, here's my take on Clemens. And your listeners can tell me if I'm wrong about this guy.
"Clemens is a rich person in a high place. But he's unlikable. I think his personality will put him behind bars. Had he come clean, did a bunch of community service, we would have forgiven, and forgotten. Charley Hustle, same thing. Tell us the truth. We know you're sorry you did it. We'll give you all a second chance."
"Okay, let's take a quick break," says Roswell. "And we'll be right back to take your calls. Roswell Hobbs, Sports in the Afternoon, KLUK Sports Radio, 1600."
...'I saved $590...I saved $1900, ...I save $13,200 on my car insurance by changing to FrogCo Insurance...yada, yada, yada...'
"We're back. Roswell Hobbs, KLUK Radio, Sport in the Afternoon. We're talking to Brentwood Woody Belair, Sports Know-It-All."
"I like that," I say. "And, you know, you're probably right."
"Okay, let's take some calls. Mulligan, in Malibu. Your on with Brentwood Belair."
"Of course he used. Of course he lied. Of course he is not going to jail. And the worst, thee worst, is his arrogant, condescending, hot dogger of a lawyer, Rusty Hardin. Guys like him only take cases for the spotlight. I know the case is about lying, but these lawyers are just as despicable as the clients they represent."
"Clemens hired him," I say. "Maybe they're a pair, both trying to prove something?"
"Okay, here's Naomi, from North Hollywood."
"Thanks for taking me call, gentlemen. Okay, this SOB Clemens thinks he's above the law. Who does he think he is? Remember in the world series, when he threw the bat at Piazza? Should have been ejected on the spot. Gutless umpire. No, can't do that. He's Roger Clemens. He lies, then stares you down, and we're supposed to jump back. He should do jail time, long jail time, you ask me."
"Well, that's one lady's opinion. Okay, here's Luke, from Long Beach."
"Here's what I think. Clemens' biggest failing is this. He views anyone who is not Roger Clemens as a degenerate. Everybody's disposable. He's the only one telling the truth. Clemens, you're a scumbag. Time to face the music, pal."
"Sounds like people don't like Mr. Clemens very much." says Roswell.
"You think?" I say.
"Veronica, from Venice, You're on with Woody Belair."
"This McNamee character is a rat. They all had those drugs. Baseball owners knew it. Drugs saved baseball, come on guys. They won the fans back after the strike. All those home runs, McGwire, Canseco, all of them. Baseball was a real game. I say this: Thank Gawd for drugs."
"I think we all miss the home runs," I say. "Most people I think liked baseball better when players were under the influence. Hard to admit."
"Our listeners have some strong opinions. Let's see...Larry from Laguna Beach."
"Guilty, Guilty, Guilty. Clemens and Bonds should have their numbers taken off all their records because they got caught cheating. Man's a thug. I feel bad for Hank Aaron the true Home run King."
"Another caller...Okay, here's Dude? Yes, that's Dude from Downey. Dude, wha-cha got."
"That pool party. At Canseco's. I was there. Bro., And it Jammed. We will, We will, Rock you. The crack was Dy-no-mite. Canseco was moon walking everywhere. Let's Part-ay. Clemens was acting funny, but we all knew he was anything but sober. The juicer never got turned off. Mixing everything. No regular fruit juice neither. Spiked? I guess. And we weren't there to do no swimming, Bro. No way. He says he didn't shoot up. Unbelievable."
"Woody, what do you think about this. The Dude was there, so he says."
"Can't ask for more than an eye witness. But I have my doubts."
"It's true," says the Dude. "They were all there. And there was this Pony, but it got real good when those Aliens flew in, this beam of green light, it was like incredible, really..."
"Okay, okay, Dude," I say. "How come I don't get invites to parties like this?"
"You call me, Man. I'll hook you up."
"I'm sure you will, but what if I get abducted? I think I'll pass, Dude."
"Okay, Brentwood Belair," says Roswell. "About out of time. Thanks for dropping by. We got thirty seconds. What's your final take on this?"
"Here's my take," I say. "The owners should be held accountable. They knew steroids were being used. Balls were flying out of the park. Pitchers were striking out fifteen, sixteen a game. They claimed it was the ball, it was wound too tight. Owners made big money then. Look, players will always try to get an edge. They did it with drugs and they got richer. Why is this so different from life in general? The risk of future harm to their body, was secondary. They were living in the moment. That's my take, Roswell."
"Thanks for having me, Roswell."
"We'll be right back with Pete Rose. That's right. Brentwood mentioned him. What's he up to now. He's living in Vegas, so now's your chance to ask him anything that's bugging you. Be right back. Roswell Hobbs, Sports in the Afternoon, KLUK Radio 1600."
..........................
Help comes from:
nypost.com/p/sports/more_sports/jury
newsday.com/sports/baseball/at-clemens-trial
Google/Images, readabilityformulas.com
WikiPedia/Clemens/McNamee/
No comments:
Post a Comment