Thursday, August 16, 2012

A DINING HALL OLYMPIC STYLE

Two young wrestlers, Harold and Lloyd, and their coach, Coach Atlas stand near a huge building, just off the Bow Back Rivers, near Hackney Wick, just beyond the Westfield Shopping Center, Streatham, South London.

Large glass doors stand in front of them.

"Well, gentlemen," say Coach Atlas. "The Olympic Dining Hall.  This is where we eat."

Airplane hanger size, 5,000 chairs, open 24 hours.  25,000 loaves of bread, 230 tons of potatoes, 75,000 liters of milk, 330 tons of fruit and vegetables, all free of charge.  And they deliver, too.

They push through, and...

"Holy Crap," says Harold.  "Look at this place."

"Awesome," says Lloyd.  "This is going to be...Oh man."

"Now... this is a Dining Hall," says Coach Atlas.

Then the three spot the Golden Arches.  Lloyd elbows Harold, and points to the long line.

Coach Atlas rubs his forehead.  "There's a McDonald's here.  You gotta be kidding."

"No, Coach, this is terrific," says Harold.  "A McDonald's.  How can this be bad?"

"Look at all the Coke Machines," says Lloyd.  "There must be...Hundreds.  Place is like three football fields... Pinch me 'cause I've gone to..."

"Hold on, this ain't Heaven.  Before you order anything," says Coach Atlas. "And I mean anything, you call me.  All your orders go through me first.  Understood?"

"But, Coach..." they say in unison.  Then they smile and nod.

"Soft Drinks, Big Macs, Fries.  It's a trick,  guys.  It's the Brits.  They make us eat this, they stay on their diets, and they win Gold.  If they do well, I'll know exactly why.  They've figured out our weakness."  He grinds his teeth.  "Fast Food."

"Hey, there's Michael Phelps,"  says Harold.  "He said he scoffs down 12,000 calories a day when he trains.  He'd have to have a place like this to do it."

"Scarf," says Lloyd. "He Scarfs down, not scoff."

"Scoffs is okay," says Coach Atlas.  "To eat voraciously.  Origin of the word scoff is in fact Scarf."

Both Harold and Lloyd look over at the coach.

"What?" he says. "I also teach English at UCLA, when I'm not keeping you two on the straight an narrow. The only people that I've seen eat close to 12,000 calories are hammer throwers, and they all weigh, minimum, 300 lbs."

"12,000 calories?" says Harold.  "There isn't enough time in a day to eat that much food. I wonder if he has to wait half hour before swimming after eating all that?"

"Yohan Blake, the sprinter, says he eats 16 bananas every day for max Potassium levels."

"If I ate 16 bananas," says Coach Atlas. " I'd be running all right, back and forth to the bathroom."

They all laugh.
 
"If you need me, Coach," says Lloyd. "You'll know where to find me."

"This is a trap, guys," says Coach Atlas.  "This could tip the scales between winning and losing, spend too much time in here.  Promise me ..."

"How about Jake Oliver the British weightlifter," says Lloyd.  "He drinks colostrum, in a shake.  Protein rich milk from cows that have just given birth?"

"Hey, your not supposed to know about that," says Coach Atlas.  "Just the smell of that stuff, turned me off.  Rich in growth hormones.  Stay clear of any of that.  Extract from that stuff is banned."

Harold leans over to Lloyd. "You can get pineapple flavored colostrum in any health food store. Probably get that here, too. "

"Say what?"

"Nothing Coach.  Maybe they have Moringa Oliefera?  Evander Holyfield uses it.  Seven times the Vitamin C as  oranges, thirteen times more vitamin A than spinach, and amino acids, 2,500 times more than green tea and 240 times more than apples.  They must have that here too."

"Hey, how do you two know so much about this muscle stuff?"  He looks at the walls of Coke Machines.  "It takes years of hard work getting here, eating only the right foods, avoiding the crap... and then we get Double Big Mac-ed?"

"We gotta take a look around this place," says Harold.

They slowly walk up the aisle.  Every turn they see large banners, all the different types of national foods.

The Indian booths: Curried rice, pickled cabbage salads, stewed meats, spiced fruit salads, and naan bread with different dressings.

The Chinese section:  Duck, fried rice, stir-fries, spring rolls, dumplings, noodles, orange chicken, beef lo mein.

Italian Banners:  Carbonara, pizza, meatballs, scaloppini, radicchio salad, roasted vegetables, tomato salads, salumi, marinara sauce with pasta.

The American:  Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, potato salad, pasta salads, corn on the cob, steak.

They walk through the vast table area, salad bars a hundred feet long, McDonald's in the distance. 

"There should be a separate dining hall for athletes, like colleges do.  Processed foods with high amounts of salt and sugar becomes addictive, the body craves them.  We have to break that cycles and eat as well as we can."

"Coach," says Harold.  "McDonald serves salads, and Oatmeal with Blue Berries, come on. What could be healthier.  Blue Berries is a super food."

"It shouldn't be hard to stay on our diet here, Coach.  Look, it's all delivered free."

Coach Atlas looks at the pamphlet he receives on the way in.

He reads aloud.  "How about, 'A traditional English fry-up for breakfast? How about a chicken curry or some kimchi?  Or would a lamb samosa and some baba ganoush from a halal kitchen be more to your taste?'"

"Look," says Lloyd, pointing to a large green banner.  "You can get roast Welsh lamb shoulder, sea trout with almonds, roasted potatoes, savory puddings, and, of course, fried fish.  With or without chips."

"I see all this...but...Unlimited McDonald's, Unlimited Coke.  This really scares me, guys."

"Coach, it's not the Gold Medal," says Lloyd,  He waves his hands.  "This... This is the true reward.  All the food you want.  And it's free."  They giggle.

The coach looks over. They lose their smiles.

"This is supposed to be for athletes. No chicken nuggets and drink machines.  He points.  "There's hundreds of them?   Big money, McDonald's has stolen the nutritional backbone of our athletes, and..."

"Coach, come on." says Harold.  "Olympics are run on corporate sponsorship.  Visa, McDonald's, Coca Cola, Omega, Samsung, whatever.  Place like this would never exist.  And it sure wouldn't be FREE."

"I'm just concerned...McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics.  It's kinda like a giant drug cartel sponsoring a world wide anti-drug program."

"We're okay with this." says Lloyd.  "We'll stay on schedule.  It's who we are.  Wrestling is our lives.  We know how important this is.  Coach, we aren't going to do anything to screw that up.  Don't worry so much."

"It's too bad everybody in America can't eat like an Olympian." The Coach smiles as he looks around at the vast expanse.

Harold elbows Lloyd again.  "Once we get our Gold Medals, then we'll pig out."

They both smile.

"Say what?" says the Coach.

"Nothing Coach, nothing." says Harold.  "Hey, look, Coach.   Box after box of apples, and bananas,  and look over there..."

The trust Coach Atlas has in the two young men wins him over. He looks at them, looks out at the utter volume of real food, and slowly begins to smile.
.....................

Help comes from:
bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/2012/08/olympic-dining-hall-london.html
twincities.com/life/ci_21263587/trends-at-olympic-village-hosts-serve-best-britain
community.ashworthcollege.edu/groups/gourmet-cooking-catering/blog/2012/08/08/whats-the-olympic-dining-hall
hindustantimes.com/Specials/Sports/Olympics2012
Google/Images,  Readabilityformulas.com

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