DRE AND THE NFL DRAFT


"WEED-TV Eyewitness News at 11.  Here's Mr. News himself, Denton Del Rio."

"Good evening everyone.  We begin with breaking news in sports.  Let's call in Miss Sports at WEED-TV, Abilene Austin. Tell us Aby, a key figure in the upcoming NFL Draft.  What's going on?"

"Yes, Denton.  This just in.  Former Alabama cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick was arrested for marijuana possession in Bradenton, Fla., on Tuesday. 

"He was arrested after officers found marijuana under the front seat, then charged with possession and released on bond.  Kirkpatrick announced last Thursday he was leaving Alabama to enter the NFL draft. 

"He's rated 8th overall by ESPN in the upcoming Draft.  I wonder how this will effect his status now in the eyes of the NFL?" 

With a stern stare into the camera, "Back to you. Denton."

"Thank you, Abilene."  He squints at the teleprompter. "We must always be on guard against Marijuana.  It can double a teen’s risk of depression and anxiety..

"Eight percent of depressed teens abuse or became dependent on marijuana during the year they experience depression compared with only three percent of non-depressed teens."


He smiles.  "Now, in other news..."  There are other news stories, commercials, weather, more commercials, then time is up. 

"Thank you for watching Eyewitness News at 11.  And don't turn that channel, next up a real funny 30 Rock rerun."

"And we're out.  Thank you everyone."

Sitting together in the coffee room.  "I'm a morning person." says Abilene. "I can't keep doing this 11 o'clock crap. I want mornings."

"Aby, come on." says Denton. "You get to sleep in."  As he reaches for a yogurt in the fridge, a joint falls out of his shirt pocket.  He freezes.

Abilene quickly turns in her chair and scoops it up.  "Well well.  What is this, Denny?  You got Glaucoma?  Bad Joints?  Bad appetite and need to eat?"  She looks at him, wide eyes, waving it in his face. "You got a prescription for this?" 

"Bad back...can't see it on an M.R.I....but it's very painful.  Very."

"I'll bet."

They both look around, look at each other, "The janitor's room," she says.  He winks, they sneak in, and lock the door.

"Why was that lead story such a big deal?" says Abilene. "Actually this kid Dre was riding in the back seat of a friends car, the pot was found under the other guys front seat, and only after dogs were sent in.  He has no criminal background.  A non-story you ask me. $120 bond is all."

Denton lights up, smiling.

"Does anybody care about pot nowadays? Its only illegal cause Uncle Sam can't make any money off it, and big pharma, big beer, big cigarettes, big cotton don't like pot.  Cuts into their profits."

Puff, puff

"I shouldn't be saying this," says Abilene. "But I was  a pothead in college.

"Aby, no."

"Yup. I got though mostly on, Cup-A-Soup, mac-and-cheese, and pot.  Big deal war on drugs, I turned out OK."

"Better'n okay, ask me." says Denton.  "We're the perfect team."

"The Anchor and the Sports Girl. I like it."  She takes a hit, and pats her stomach.  "In college, I didn't drink beer, it was pot. Kept my figure down. Hell, you wouldn't believe the things I did for a joint."

"Things?"

"Yeah, things. Don't ask. You look surprised. Come on,  I was broke most of the time."

They begin giggling.

They puff and a large cloud of smoke drifts into the air.

There is a knock at the door.

Denton opens the little window.  Man in a top coat and gray fedora stands outside.  Man
says, "Franklin for President."

"Come right in Mayor." 

"Thank you."

Another rap on the door.  Little window.  Man and a lady.  "Franklin for President?  I think that's the word."

"It is Senator.  Nice to see you both."

Another knock.  "Franklin for President."

"Police Chief.  You're alone I hope?"

"This time, yes.  It is nice," says the Chief. "To be able to have a drink, after work, without police interference."

"You are so right, Chief." They both nod. "You're so right."

Smoke drifts back through the room.

Puff puff, giggle giggle.

"Two weeks,"  says Abilene. "Dre's arrest will be totally forgotten, come on.  Who cares? Its not drugs, its pot." 

"What kind of world are we living in when a star player on 'Bama's National Championship team is hassled by the local smokies over a little weed? Let the young man celebrate."

"Maybe Dre is a genius," says Abilene.  "He doesn't want to play for anybody picking in the top 10.  Maybe after the Combine testing, he'll get picked by the 49er's or Green Bay, a forward looking young man."

"Just do a better job avoiding 5-0." says Denton

"It's just weed. Legalize it so the authorities can spend more time dehumanizing undocumented Mexicans, if they need somebody to hassle."

Puff puff, giggle, giggle, more talk, more giggling.

Denton looks at his watch.  "Holy smoke. It's 1 o'clock, we gotta go. If I can even stand up."  He gets to his feet, off balance, hugging on to Abilene.

"This is awkward...since...I can't stand up either."  More laughing.

"But, I'm still wondering.  Those things?"  He looks down at her. "Those things you used to do for a joint."

"All right already. I was a kid, away from home for the first time." More giggling. "Shush, somebody'll hear us."

They wobble, almost fall, then lean together against the wall.

"So, tomorrow's Saturday," giggling. "Two days off.  We can't drive like this.  We gotta get
a cab."  She fumbles dialing her cell.

Together they wave at the smoke, and quietly stumble out the door, thorough the News Room, and stand by the curb.

Both still hugging each other. 

"You can stay at my place, " says Abilene. "Sleep on my couch.  Anybody sees us now, it's our jobs, you know.  We can't get caught like Dre did.  Who's going to post my bond?"

Holding him, she puts her head on his chest.  He feels real warm.

"Screw it," she says. "Come over to my place and I'll show you some of the things I did for a joint."

He looks at her and blinks.  "Well, well. All of a sudden my back feels a lot better."

Giggle, giggle.

They are still giggling when the cab drives up.